Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask

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(703): View more from Virginia

I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically

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(913): View more from Kansas

ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?

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(226): View more from Ontario

i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.

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(616): View more from Michigan

I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.

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(706): View more from Georgia

Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time

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(239): View more from Florida

OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD

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(513): View more from Ohio

Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.

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