the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
