I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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