I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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