there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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