how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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