I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
