She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize