somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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