My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
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