It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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