Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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