Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
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This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
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I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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