you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
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