Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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