I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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