But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Who did Billy Mays play for?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
