just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
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