Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
