Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
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