I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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