just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
