There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
