hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
