I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I think people are normalizing furries
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
