In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
