Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
