do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
