They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
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You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
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you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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