I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
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She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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