Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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