After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Send help, water and tortillas.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
