I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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