thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
