Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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