He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
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