Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Randomize
