omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
