would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
