I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
