It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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