D3 body, D1 cock
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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