Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Randomize
