he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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