How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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