They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
