he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I deserve this hangover.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
