hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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