i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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