I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
