dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
