We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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