I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
