My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
