i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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