well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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