I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
