I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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