Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
