Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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