so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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