i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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