Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
