I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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