Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
The air taste purple.
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